My last Russell Brand post (at least for a while)

Yes, I’m swearing off Russell Brand tonight.

Just as he tore himself from the black talons of heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine, alcohol and wild sex (apparently that one didn’t work so well; he felt better after listening to others and concluded he wasn’t that bad, after all), I am ready to tear myself from the mindless mindfulness of this sexy Rasputin comic. 

Getting in touch with my inner Russell Brand has been nothing short of liberating. For those of you who don’t have to, congratulations. I’m envious (well, just a little).

Here are a few of my favourite Brand quotations (thus far):

No-one really feels self-confident deep down because it’s an artificial idea. Really, people aren’t that worried about what you’re doing or what you’re saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously: you must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.

***

Be led by your talent, not by your self-loathing; those other things you just have to manage. 


*** 
I couldn’t possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!

***

Even as a junkie I stayed true [to vegetarianism] – ‘I shall have heroin, but I shan’t have a hamburger.’ What a sexy little paradox.

***

My dad’s philosophy was (and I think still is) that life is a malevolent force, which seeks to destroy you, and you have to struggle with it. Only those who are hard enough will succeed. Most people get crushed, but if you fight, in the end life will go, “Fucking hell. This one’s serious. Let him through.
 
***
 
We all need something to help us unwind at the end of the day. You might have a glass of wine, or a joint, or a big delicious blob of heroin to silence your silly brainbox of its witterings but there has to be some form of punctuation, or life just seems utterly relentless.
 
***
 
I’ve always been a ‘your parents have got to come up to the school’ type of person. Even now, when I do something wrong – if I say something inappropriate on a live tv show, for example – I half expect to have to deliver a note to Barbara Brand: ‘Please come up to Channel 4 head office, Russell’s done something despicable.
 
***
And my favourite of the day:
 
If you strip away self-effacement, charm and the spirit of mischief—qualities that make determination and ambition 
tolerable—you’re left with a right ar**hole.
 
 
 
 

 

 
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11 Responses to “My last Russell Brand post (at least for a while)”

  1. Alison Ouellette Says:

    love the hamburger one….

  2. amoriarty Says:

    This sexy little paradox is quite a subject, isn’t it?

  3. Wd Fyfe Says:

    Someday if I’m really really good I’m going to meet this guy in Denny’s at about 3:30 in the morning and it’s going to be his birthday and I’m going to get him the free breakfast. And for about 45 minutes I’m goin’ listen.

  4. Audrey Byrd Says:

    Annie, I’d not heard of Russell Brand ’til you introduced him to me.

    I’ve been watching Ron James and really like his type of ‘socially aware humor’. He’s a master of the soliloquy and FUNNY! He’s on late night CBC.

  5. Audrey Byrd Says:

    SMILE! I’m glad you enjoy him too. In some ways Ron James reminds me of good ole George Carlin…not as crude but almost as astute. Dana and I miss George and his outrageous outrage at the social, racial, political, religious and financial injustice, so rampant in our world.

    Speaking of the latter, I saw Carlie Rose interview the author of “INSIDE JOB” last night! WOW! (I’ve forgotten his name…if I don’t write it down, I suffer lapses. It happens all too often these days…oh well…). Anyway, I think his book (whoever he is) is a ‘must read’.

    Even though we suspected and some of us knew that the people who brought down the world economy were / are crooks from the get-go, it was a shocker to hear it confirmed by a reliable inner source and hear how they did it and got away with it. I’m sorry Obama is not the firm, even stern corrective leader we need and some of us had hoped he’d be.

    What has happened to our ethics, morals and principles??? Where have they gone??? Who will lead us out of this morrass? Why were there not strict rules and regulations in place? If not Obama, who will institute and see that they are enforced? What shall we do? And if we can’t do anything, where shall we go?

    Methinks given all the other unsavory things brewing around the planet, our lives are f_____; our world is f_____. How do we fix it? And if we can’t, how do we live in it with ‘things’ the way they are?

    I know, I know, we mustn’t be negative, but how many more outrages can we ‘ordinary people’ take? How much more do you think ‘we the people’ can stand at the hands of the growing numbers of the powerful unscrupulous and uncaring? What now my friend?

    During the Great Depression, and during the war of all wars, WW 2, we bit the bullet. Litterally and figuratively we did and survived…damaged, if you wish, but we did survive.

    I was five in ’39 so I’m old enough and young enough to remember it all vividly. I was acutely aware of all we had to live then and I remember it as clearly as if it had happenned yesterday. (Strange how I don’t remember an author’s name I heard yesterday, but can so clearly remember events ot the mid 30’s!)

    It was my parents’ wish that we forget; that such deprivation and fear never happen again. Now it is my wish for my children and theirs; for everyone else around the world.

  6. amoriarty Says:

    “The outrageous outrage of George Carlin.”
    Well put.
    About the stuff we now know—do you ever wonder if we just know more now and that things were always this way?
    If that’s the case, then, it’s even more depressing, isn’t it?
    Maybe, just maybe, if enough people get sufficiently pissed off, then some good can be wrung from all this theft and propaganda.
    I, too, am very concerned.
    Are you sure you’re as old as you say?
    You have the enthusiasm and wisdom of a much younger woman (ha!).
    A.

  7. Audrey Byrd Says:

    A, you’re probably right about us knowing more now but I sincerely doubt things were always the way they are now. I think we have entered an unprecedented age. but then, we’ve entered unprecedented ages before.

    Corrections:

    The last name of the author of INSIDE JOB is Ferguson.

    I was five in ’39 so my remebrances date from ’39 on, not the mid 30’s.

    Lest you think I’m waaaay older than I am, the effects and living conditions of great depression lasted waaay longer than what the history books and writers record. We suffered deprivation and lack through 1944-45, when my father returned from his post.

    Thank you Annie for your response and your compliment. Love it! And I love to read you. Keep it coming!

  8. Grace Says:

    Have you seen ‘Get him to the Greek’? Was not a big RB fan until I saw a couple of the movies he was in. His ‘African Child’ song was pretty funny in that movie!

    • amoriarty Says:

      Hi Gracie!
      I wouldn’t have guessed you’d be a fan.
      He’s quite nuts and quite rude, but, as you say, seriously funny.
      I’ve yet to see the movie, but I will. I will.

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